Okay, I think some kind of line has been crossed. This is too much. Ladies (and gentlemen), I give you: Sexy Joan of Arc.

Because what’s hotter than being burned at the stake?

Allow me to remind that you Joan was only 19 years old when she was executed. Burned alive. Whatever you think of her visions, there’s no question that she was incredibly courageous. And there’s no question that she was persecuted in large part because she refused to conform to standard femininity.

So it’s kind of hilarious that the modern costume industry has decided to do what Joan wouldn’t, and transform her into a perfectly conformist sexy female. And check out the helpful suggestion from the seller: “To make this ensemble even sexier, and worthy of leading a French revolution, consider purchasing gold strappy sandals, a large sword, a long blond wig, fishnet hosiery and cross necklace from our accessories section.”

It’s true, fishnets and stripper shoes are certainly the first things I think of when visualizing Joan of Arc. But what’s really fantastic about this suggestion is the long blond wig. Because everybody knows that Joan actually cut her hair short and wore it like a man. In fact, that was one of the “unfeminine” things she was persecuted for. It’s like the costume industry is retroactively erasing all that messy nonconformist proto-feminism from history. Instead of Joan of Arc, crazy-ass armor-wearing mystical-hallucinating brilliant general from hell, we get Sexy Joanie, with her bustier and her fishnets and her long blond hair.

I swear to God, at this point I would not be surprised if they came out with a Sexy Mary Wollstonecraft costume.

P.S. Here’s the link to our non-sexy costume for Joan of Arc.

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